How do you get “me time” when you’re a mum?
Cast your mind back to the dim and distant, pre-child, past. To an era where time was your own, you could laze in bed all day, watch back-to-back box sets, wander on down to the pub for Sunday lunch. Remember it? Then children came along. Which was amazing. Well most of the time. But all that time you used to have totally disappeared.
I remember this hitting Hubs and me when L was about 10 months old. We were working hard Monday to Friday, then instead of relaxing at the weekend we were parenting. Which, despite L being a very chilled out baby, was no walk in the park. After a particularly knackering week Hubs turned to me and said “I need a me day, we can’t carry on like this”. I was gutted. He regretted our baby, he didn’t want to spend time with his wife and daughter.
Then he explained that he needed time off from work, but also from running round after a crawling baby, not because he didn’t love us or want to spend time with us, but because he needed some downtime. Once I got over my shock it made sense. And so Franglaise Family adopted “me days”.
This is how it works for us – every weekend one of us has a me day which consists of not walking the dog, not dealing with our daughters, not doing any chores or anything on the to do list. Whoever’s me day it is can do what he/she wants without raising an eyebrow from the other one. My recent me days have consisted of a day watching Downton Abbey episodes with my cousin and eating junk food whilst putting the world to rights; another day saw me lying on the sofa and reading a fab book all day (by a favourite author – Diane Chamberlain); another me day had me shopping in central London followed by a long, leisurely pub lunch with friends.
So what happens when it’s not your me day? Well, that’s a bit tougher but not necessarily less fun. You get to have some quality time with the kids. In general we try and take them out of the house to leave the one relaxing in peace and quiet. In the past I have taken L on the London Eye and to the nearby Sealife Aquarium (we have a Merlin pass for these attractions so entry is “free”), I recently took L and C to the cinema, and Hubs has taken them to Richmond Park and Kew Gardens while he’s been on duty.
What it means is that once every two weeks we get a real day off, time to ourselves to relax and recharge our batteries which truly is priceless. Then the other week we get to spend quality time with our daughters, to take them out and just really enjoy spending time together.
I can’t recommend this system enough, especially as absence makes the heart go fonder, so when you are reunited with the children at the end of the day it’s just the best feeling 🙂
What a brilliant idea! Thanks so much for sharing!
As a first time mum with a 15month old daughter, me time is incredibly rare and both my husband and I really struggle to find time to ourselves (especially as we have busy jobs and a house to renovate too!)
This post has really inspired me to get organised and get some me time for both of us in the diary. And whilst a day might be ambitious at the moment, I definitely reckon we could definitely do at least a couple of hours 🙂
It makes all the difference – do it!
That sounds blissful – what a great idea! We do, do some me time but it is much too little in my opinion 😉
Hurrah For Gin recently posted…A reluctant stay at home mum
That’s why we try and do it once a week (one of us anyway), otherwise the stress and exhaustion really builds up.
Blimey, this sounds like a fabulous idea! I’m not sure I’d get away with it every weekend but just once a month sounds marvellous!
Just having it in the calendar helps.
This sounds a great idea! Why have we not thought of this?! I’m thinking maybe once a month would do us, and I’m already starting to mentally plan my day…! Thanks for sharing x #AllAboutYou
The Reading Residence recently posted…I’m Loving… #Postcircle
It is the best thing EVER! I love it now and couldn’t live without it, I hope you get your me time too 🙂
what a lovely idea. We don’t do this currently but may adopt somthing similar in the future though perhaps it would be a once a month thing as the weekends are the best times for hubby and I too see each other. I currently carve out a little bit of “me time” whilst doing other household jobs – one of my new favourite things is listening to the radio whilst I clean the pots and dishes -very sad, but I enjoy it : )
thelifeofwife recently posted…A day in our lives – with a new born
Can you come and do household chores at mine too? I’ll put the radio on for you, no problem 😉
This is such a great idea. I wonder if I could convince the hubby into giving me a ‘me week’? #AllAboutYou
Morgan Prince recently posted…Preconceptions and Judgement
That is a bit harder to negotiate 😉 The flip side meaning you have to then let him have a me week too!
I love this idea! But I think you need the right partner to agree to such a thing. My other half is a shift worker and not always around at the weekends, plus we have just fallen into a routine where he gets to go out to the gym or off for a run whenever he wants but I don’t get any real time off. I do far more of the full on childcare on my own a lot of the time. I’m building a bit of me time into my weeks though (come April) by having dropped a day of work – the kids will be at pre-school/school/childminder so I should have at least 4-5 hours to do housework/put my feet up once a week – yay!
Sam recently posted…The Happiness Project: A Review
Do try and squeeze it in where you can, it really does make the world of difference!
Great idea. We’re always trying to fit so much in that sometimes we forget life is for living too.
Exactly and it’s so great to take some time out and just relax 🙂
Great post hon, and thank you so much for linking to #AllAboutYou – I love the sharing of ways to coax some more me-time into our lives! Hope you can pop back to the linky to join up tomorrow x
Mama and More aka Zaz recently posted…I am beautiful – makeup-free this is me
Thanks! We can’t survive without our me time now, it’s become a way of life and it’s so lovely 🙂
This sounds like such bliss! But I’m not sure it would work for us – OH works so hard all week I’d feel too guilty to take away his only down time and thrust two under 5s on him for the day. I had a hair appointment yesterday (gone dark!), was out of the house for 4 hours or so and it was exhausting for him – Little Man is very demanding, into everything and a real handful. Perhaps once a month would be more do-able? I’ll mention it… fab post lovely x
Michelle @ Bod for tea recently posted…Silent Sunday
How about half days in that case over the lunchtime nap? It’s so hard when everyone is tired and having that time out makes such a difference.