I can’t stop crying

Before I had children I didn’t cry much. I mean I cried over the usual stuff, break-ups, death etc, but TV, books, films and so on didn’t make me cry. I’m one of those weirdos who didn’t cry at Dead Poets Society, and I did use to wonder if I had an important part of me missing.

Then I got pregnant. And it all changed. In my first trimester one of my cats died and I took to my bed for the whole weekend, crying, like some kind of Victorian heroine. (In my defence it was the first pet I’d ever had that had died as we’d never had pets as kids, my parents seemed to think that having 5 children was enough.)

I thought the tears would go away once I’d had the baby. Oh no, not so. When L was 5 days old I came home from hospital (5 days is the usual hospital stay in France), Hubs cooked me a rare steak, knowing how much I’d missed that during pregnancy. And how did I react? By bursting into tears. Which I quickly realised were hormonal, so he ate his steak while I sobbed through mine.

I assumed I would go back to the usual heart of stone, doesn’t cry much, me. But not so. Suddenly everything made me cry. Especially where children were involved. I heard a child cry, I wanted to cry. I heard a child laugh, I wanted to cry (from joy/not being with my child at that precise time).

Where I once teased my sister for crying at anything and everything on TV I had become her. I cannot watch one single episode of Greys Anatomy or One Born Every Minute without crying. Sobbing.

School assemblies are a disaster for me, I have to wear waterproof make-up for them and any other “show” that L puts on.

On holiday last summer whilst pregnant with C, I read an amazing book by Jojo Moyes, called “Me before you”, ,I was on the beach when I got to that part (if you’ve read it you’ll know the bit I mean), and suddenly I was wracked with sobs, proper, can’t get my breath sobs. On the beach! Thankfully Hubs was in the sea with L and I could hide behind my sunglasses.

We’re on holiday at the moment and yesterday a boy of about 8 burnt himself quite badly in the hotel restaurant, and I was a mess. I don’t know this boy, or his family, yet I was fighting back the tears, the only reason I could hold it together was because I didn’t want L or C to see me crying.

Am I the only one who has become an emotional wreck since having kids? Mothers of older children, reassure me, it will go away, won’t it? Won’t it?!?

Little do you realise at the time that the effects of pregnancy aren’t just physical.

Pregnant with C



8 Responses

  1. Hannah Ruth says:

    Hehe, I have always been an awful crier but I am even worse now!!! We used to make fun of my mum for crying at everything but now I know what it’s like! 😉

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      I’m really hoping it will pass….but L is 6 years old now and it doesn’t seem to be going away.

  2. AtoZ Mummy says:

    I was a nightmare before kids, crying over everything but now I’m worse! I’m a nightmare and cry at everything. I was the one who had to leave the room during my paediatric first aid course as I was sobbing. It’s ridiculous! I do think kids soften us x

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      They definitely soften us. I found the paediatric first aid course hard too, especially learning CPR on a baby doll about the same size as C.

  3. I’d really love to say it goes away but it hasn’t for me, I always was a bit emotional but since having my boys (18 & 12) I could cry at anything, I sob through episodes of x factor for goodness sake! I just don’t have a poker face, (I wish i did though) I find it better to let it out and then move on. I also put on waterproof make up if I ‘m at a school event because I know if the little ones do something cute the tears will come and I keep my hair long so I can hide behind it!

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      There was me thinking it was something that would go away with time – maybe I should invest in waterproof mascara then!

  4. HonestMum says:

    Oh honey I hear you. Kids do make you more emotional-it’s not just the hormones although these contribute but once you are a parent you empathise with every other parent/child out there. I think you are a wonderful, caring lady. Don’t fight back the tears or be ashamed.

    I cried yesterday when Kate and Wills came out of the hospital. I think we are vicariously living/reliving our own experiences/fears for our own off spring, through other parents/their kids once we have our own x

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      I think you might be right there, so shares in Kleenex and waterproof mascara it is from now on!

Leave a Reply to AtoZ Mummy Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge