Not being a shouty mummy
After 2 weeks of school holidays it was back to school this morning, and back to the rush, rush, rush of the morning routine. And suddenly shouty mummy is back in town.
Surely I’m not the only one here who spends their time yelling at their kids? “Get dressed, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, put your shoes on…” again and again and again, until it sinks in and said child does what has been asked of them.
The thing is, it came as a bit of a shock this morning, as for the last 2 weeks shouty mummy has been away. There have been no time restrictions, no things we HAVE to do, so we’ve been going with the flow. I worked the first week, but as a childminder I set what we did and made sure there was no rush, even with trains to catch for a visit to Chessington with 4 children.
And then it was our turn for family holiday and switch off time. We didn’t do much as Hubs was working and money is a bit tight at the moment, so the girls and I spent some time at my parents’ leaving Hubs to house and pet-sit.
We took time out and went and visited my brother and sister-in-law near Birmingham, with my parents.
Despite it being fairly tight in the car, we had a lovely road trip with L reading to herself or having me read Carrie’s War to her – taking me back to my childhood.
My mum, my sister-in-law, L, C and I went to Cannock Chase Park for an afternoon stroll and it was lovely – I totally recommend it if you’re anywhere in the West Midlands area, L had a ball there!
After blowing away the cobwebs we went back to Uncle A and Auntie E’s house and just chilled together en famille.
Although I spend a great deal of my time with L and C, it’s not always quality time. When I’m childminding I tend to concentrate more on the children I’m paid to look after, assuming that my kids will be fine as they’re fairly easy. When those children have gone home it’s the rush to get ready for bed, or do chores at the weekend. And yes, I can be a shouty mummy with L.
The difference in myself and my relationship with L during these holidays, when I wasn’t rushing, or stressed, and so wasn’t being Shouty Mummy, was incredible. I’m lucky in that L and I have a fantastic relationship, even when I am being shouty mummy. But this past week we talked, we laughed, we giggled, we were silly together, we had fun together. It was WONDERFUL.
All of this has made me want more. More fun time with L. More laughter. More chats. More cuddles. (Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all about L, but as the 7 year old, she sees far more of Shouty Mummy than C, at 17 months old, does.)
So, from now on, I’m going to try and make sure we have enough time to not have to rush, rush, rush, so I don’t have to shout. I’m going to try and make sure that every day has its fun moments. It will be hard, I know it will. We’ll get back into our routine. L will leave her clothes on the bathroom floor, I’ll nag her to put them away. She’ll daydream when she should be eating her breakfast, I’ll get frustrated with her. But I’m going to attempt to keep the fun and laughter in our daily life, despite us being back at school and at work.
And to remind me of how much fun we did have, and can have, here are a couple more pics of our Easter holiday 🙂
Are you a shouty mummy? Does it bother you? Do you try not to be a shouty mummy?
I’m linking up to Magic Moments, as having a week with my girls with no stress and no shouting has been nothing short of magical. Click on the linky below to read about others’ magic moments.
It sounds like you had as much fun as we did on our Easter Holidays 🙂 We went to Chessington too! #MagicMoments
We had so much fun! Chessington is one of our favourite places to go to 🙂
Yes! I’m a shouty mummy and I hate it. I really don’t want to be, but like L, my kids ‘forget’ to do the same basic things every morning and every night and sometimes shouting is the only way to get through to them. The school holidays are so much more relaxing and less pressured. Part of the reason I wanted to give up work is so I can spend more time with them – take them to school and pick them up every day and not worry about how I’m going to sort childcare for the school holidays. Hopefully that way I will be less shout!
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Terrified
I hate it too, but sometimes it feels like it’s the only way to get things done! It’ll be interesting to see if you are less of a shouty mummy with your change of jobs.
I am sooooo a shouty mum and feel very guilty about it sometimes. It happens though…… I’m trying to get ready for work in the morning, Lucas ‘pretends’ he can’t put his socks on, I stab myself in the eye with the mascara wand as he’s bumped past me to have a jump on our bed!!!!!! Great post and gorgeous photos xx #magicmoments
That sounds so familiar, you tell yourself you won’t be, and then you end up blowing up at them. I’ve managed to be quite un-shouty today so let’s see if that continues!
I dontknow why i cried when I saw the second photo. #magicmoments
Merlinda (@pixiedusk) recently posted…Moments
It was so handy being at my parents as C wasn’t sleeping well, and my parents were such a help with her – so lucky to have them so close by now we’re back in the UK.
I feel like I’ve been having a hormonal overload recently which makes it so much harder to be calm in those stressful moments! And I just have one to look after right now. Four must be tough but I bet you do brilliantly.
Hannah Ruth recently posted…Easter catch-up
Hormones certainly don’t help keep the shouty mummy in check! Fortunately I only have 4 when I’m childminding, and only have my 2 the rest of the time, luckily other people’s kids always behave better for others than their own parents I’ve found!
I think we all have times when we turn into shouty mom, and kids, not matter how gorgeous and lovely, will test the patience of a saint.
Loving your pictures at Cannock Chase – my neck of the woods – try Birches Valley next time – just fab for kids.
fashion-mommy recently posted…Wallis introduce W Crimson Collection
True – but I am trying my hardest to keep shouty mummy at bay as much as possible.
I don’t know this area well at all, my sister-in-law found Cannock Chase and suggested it for us, so thanks for the recommendation for next time 🙂
I am a shouty mummy and I do try my best not to be a shouty mummy but sometimes it happens and I don’t know want it to. I hope that one day I will no longer be a shouty mummy but I don’t think I ever will.
Nikki Fraser recently posted…Half term and Easter holidays.
For me it’s a work in progress – I have my good days and my bad!
I’m not shouty but I do relate to this. I’m obsessively organised and timed, mad woman of the morning! Thus he is ready ages before he might be because I’ve wiped away breakfast because it’s past breakfast time and now we are in the getting dressed time zone and on and on.. I love the holidays for removing all of this. We relax. I relax.
Good luck with not being shouty.
Helloitsgemma recently posted…Easter, what we did
I’ve actually managed to be quite unshouty all week – yay me! Part of it has been down to being more organised/on time too, so maybe that’s the secret….
I think every mum feels like they have to say the same things over and over again with no results but gradually the message does get through so take heart. One day you will find that things are magically done without you having to even suggest it.
I’ve never been a shouty mother (although I have often been a nagging one), partly because I find it physically difficult to shout but also because my mum was a teacher and told me early on that all shouting did was to escalate the general noise levels. Perhaps you could have star charts- one for the children for picking up their clothes etc and one for mummy for not shouting – and help one another to do well. If you feel you’re going to shout try singing instead, somehow it works!
Frazzled Mum recently posted…Don’t Judge!
Thanks for the tips – it is true what you say about shouting and general noise levels. L and I made a pact on Tuesday evening that I would try not to be a shouty mummy and she would try not to do things that might make me shouty – it’s now Friday lunchtime and so far so good 🙂
Totally relate chick and us Greeks tend to shout as talking…I do shout too much though and need to stop-in fact today when I was complaining (we are always late for pre-school) Oliver said, “Oh Mum stop practising your shouting”!
Honest Mum recently posted…The Power of Putting it Down on Paper
Every time you say something like that about the Greeks I think that the French and the Greeks have a lot in common 😉 I love Oliver’s comment! Sometimes us mummys have to practise our shouting 😉
Sophie you and I are truly kindred spirits. I’m struggling with my inner Shouty Mummy too and I’ve written about it before over on the blog. I need to take the time to step back from situations and count to ten but I tend to react immediately and regret raising my voice later. I now apologise to the littles if I’ve been a Shouty Mummy and CG tends to apologise for making me shout – perhaps there’s a learning there even when things go wrong! Can’t wait to see you in June!
We really are! Although L and I had a good week last week, with us both trying to be more considerate of the other, and she was on her absolute best behaviour, bless. Long may it last….and roll on June for our meet-up 🙂
What a great, refreshing post! It looks like you had a lovely holiday. Lots of smiles on those pictures. I am also trying hard not to be a grumpy/shouty mummy. An irritable mum cannot be that nice for the children, bouhou… Mel #MagicMoments
Mel recently posted…Crunchy Pear and Pomegranate Salad with Mustard Fishcakes
Thanks, we had a lovely holiday and I’m even managing to keep shouty mummy at bay….so far!
i am waving my hands in the air!! i am a shouty mummy too! although i do try not to be!
what a beautifully honest post 🙂
thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments x
Thanks Jaime – it’s very hard not to be, definitely a work in progress here!
The time of day when I get most shouty is – sadly – at bedtime. Just when I would really like to create a lovely relaxing wind down time for the kids. But by that time I am so tired and done with wrangling them that any silliness or delay drives me mental. I just want them to put on their pyjamas, brush their teeth, listen to stories and go to sleep sweetly. I hate being shouty, I just get so wound up.
Judith recently posted…Potty Training Confessions: 9 months down the line
That sounds so familiar – I am shoutiest at bedtime or just before leaving the house for the school run. But school’s out for summer in just over an hour so let’s wave goodbye to shouty mummy (hopefully).