When honesty sometimes isn’t the best policy
A few days ago, on a post Britmums Live high, I wrote about being more honest on this blog, and about why honesty is definitely the best policy. However what I didn’t write, and what I thought didn’t need writing, is that sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy.
Sorry if this sounds a little bit contradictory, but hear me out. I do wholly agree that honesty, about me, on my blog, is the right policy. So that means being the “me” I am in real life. Even if it does mean there may be more swear words here and more pictures of my make-up free, double-chinned face. (Feel free to run and hide!)
Where I believe honesty isn’t the right way is when it hurts others.
We all have views and opinions of others. Sometimes positive but often negative. “I wouldn’t wear a skirt that short if I were her” or “I can’t believe she’s going back to work full-time after just having a baby” or “She’s having another baby? I’m not sure that’s a good idea” or “I can’t see what he sees in her, he could do so much better” and so on and so forth.
Sadly as humankind – or even more sadly womankind – we have a tendency to gossip or bitch about others. And I’m no saint here, I do it too. But I draw the line about being honest in that way here on my blog.
It’s one thing to think such thoughts. It’s one thing to say them to your other half in the privacy of your home. It’s another thing altogether to put them on your blog. A public place where that person might read your negative opinion.
Which is why you won’t see that kind of honesty here.
Since Britmums Live at the weekend I’ve seen several blog posts where the blogger has shared their disdain about Katy Hill winning Fresh Voice at the BiBs awards ceremony.
I won’t lie, I voted for Katie from Hurrah for Gin, and was disappointed that she didn’t win as I love her blog. But I also love Katy Hill’s blog, and find it sad that some people have voiced the opinion that somehow she didn’t deserve to win.
Just because she was a Blue Peter presenter, and has been a mum for the last few years, does that somehow make this a fix? Just because she is a celebrity does that mean she can’t be nominated and win an award for having a great blog?
Does that mean that photographers can no longer win the photography award? That writers are banned from the writer award? As this wouldn’t be fair on others?
And would the aforementioned bloggers have written the same thing about another blogger if she weren’t in the public eye?
I find it very sad. The blogging community, on the whole, is a lovely, supportive one, but this nastiness does leave a bad taste in the mouth.
I don’t know Katy Hill really. I saw her at Britmums Live last year and again this year, and I read her blog, that’s about it. But what I do know is that she is a great blogger. She is also a lovely lady who came up to me at Britmums Live last year and told me she liked my dress, and complimented me on looking so good 7 months after having a baby, which made me feel AMAZING (so much so I mentioned it in my post-BML blog post last year). She doesn’t get up on some kind of celebrity high horse and she doesn’t expect any kind of star treatment. She was there as a blogger, like the rest of us, to learn, mingle and enjoy the blogging community.
It was clear to see from her reaction when she won the award that she was delighted, chuffed, proud and emotional at the recognition of her hard work. In the same way any of us would be if we’d won an award.
It’s shitty that there have to be losers, especially when there are some exceptional blogs out there, but that’s no reason to piss all over the parade of the winner.
Katy – if you’re reading this, congratulations on your win! It was well deserved.
To anyone thinking about writing something negative on your blog about another person, blogger or not, celebrity or not, just remember they are another human being, with thoughts and feelings, so think about how it might feel if the shoe were on the other foot.
*climbs down off soapbox*