Should you have one last baby?
After having our eldest daughter, L, I kept being asked if we wanted to have a second child. Which was a no-brainer, of course we did. It just took us a while to get round to it.
6 years later we finally had our second daughter, C, and I was convinced I was done. Two children – perfect. But since C’s birth so many people have asked if we want a third.
I was so certain my pregnant days were over that I have sold all my maternity clothes and newborn paraphernalia.
But I still waver. Should I have one last baby?
Depending on what day you ask me my answer can be wildly different:
Absolutely no way!
Why is that?
Here are my theories:
It’s an age thing.
I’m 38, in a few years I won’t have the choice anymore. I will no longer be able to get pregnant. I will be too old. I like the fact I can still change my mind and have one last baby. For a little while anyway.
It’s a third child thing.
I’m the third child. I think subconsciously I’m wondering what would have happened if my parents had stopped at two. I wouldn’t be here. So maybe I feel the need to produce the equivalent of my place in the family.
It’s a big family thing.
I’m one of five, so can I just stop at two children? I LOVED growing up as part of a big family, should I deprive my girls of that?
It’s a sibling thing.
For some reason our daughters just work. They click. They’re mad about each other. Despite the 6 year age gap they play together and love each other like I never imagined possible. If they are so good together, how great would it be to add a third child into the mix?
It’s a multiplying of parental love thing.
When I was pregnant with C I could tell that Hubs was worried he wouldn’t love her as much as L. We’d been parents to just one child for over 5 years and she was our world. How could we love this new baby as much? But then C arrived and suddenly our love multiplied. So how cool would it be for that to happen again?
Then on the other hand I weigh up all the reasons not to have one last baby:
Statistically there are greater health risks for the mother and the baby the older you are.
Whilst our girls are really pretty easy, and were/are great sleepers it was far more tiring dealing with a newborn when I was 36 than when I was 30.
We might live in a house that can stretch to one more child, and we might not have a car that would need upgrading (vive London public transport!), but financially a third child putsk;l an extra strain on any budget.
L and C get on so incredibly well. What if an odd number throws all that. What if L gets left on her own while C and the youngest bond?
Fear of the unknown.
I’m not normally someone who’s afraid of taking risks, or stepping out into the unknown. But I had two straightforward pregnancies, one slightly complicated birth and one quick and relatively easy birth, both girls were dream babies and are pretty easy children now too. What if I’m tempting fate and a third baby tests us more than our relationship or our family can cope with? We’re so happy now, should we rock the boat?
When it comes down to it only Hubs and I can make that decision. I’m now saying “never say never” and instead of putting the rocker, pram and baby gym onto ebay I’ve put them in the loft for now. We still haven’t decided one way or another, but for the next couple of years I like that we’ve still got the option available.
What about you? Are you wavering about having one last baby? Were you unsure and then went ahead and had another one? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments below 🙂