I was going to link up to Transatlantic Blonde’s “What I wore Wednesday” blog post yesterday. I had a photo taken of me this weekend when I went out with Hubs on a date night, and it was all ready to go, then I looked at the photo, and all I could see were my chubby knees and chunky legs and I just couldn’t post it.
It’s ridiculous. I’ve never had body issues as such, but equally I’ve never thought I had an amazing figure, I’ve just kind of accepted what I’ve got as my lot in life and been a bit “c’est la vie” about it all. But I’ve noticed that post-pregnancy this time round it is much harder to accept my new body shape.
Ever since I was about 12 I have had an hourglass figure – big boobs, big bum, small waist, but also relatively short legs which are pretty chunky. My general shape hasn’t changed much since then. After L’s birth in 2006 I was 31 and my body pretty much went back to how it was pre-pregnancy, the same flat tummy, the same breast size (just floppier!). L had been so tiny and my bump so small that I had no excess skin, no stretch marks and no mum tum.
In fact whenever I do put on weight the last place it goes in general is on my tummy and my waist – I’ll get a bigger bum, chunkier hips and thighs, bingo wings, a rounded face, bigger boobs, but my waist and tummy stay pretty much the same. It was one of the things that consoled me whenever I did put on weight.
But this time round things are different. I’m 37 not 31. It’s my second pregnancy. C was bigger, as was my bump. Whilst I didn’t get stretch marks (I think that’s down to genes really), I now have this mum tum which won’t seem to go, no matter how much weight I lose through breastfeeding.
I’m now 55kg (8 stone 9lbs) for a height of about 162cm (a bit under 5 foot 4), and it’s ridiculous as I’m the lightest now that I’ve been since breastfeeding last time, and before then since a bad break-up. But all I can see now is this big belly, love handles and chunky legs.
Which makes me wonder where this body image issue comes from, it’s certainly not from my mum nor from Hubs, I can’t think of any nasty comments from anyone, so all I can think of is the subconscious media images of super slim/skinny women of my age.
The thing is I know it’s only going to get worse, as I can’t keep up this kind of weight once I stop breastfeeding unless I go on a crazy diet/exercise kick, which I’m not prepared to do. I’ll have to face up to these issues soon though as we’re going on a beach holiday in a few weeks’ time! Eek!
So how do you get over these body issues? How do you feel now you’ve had babies? Will I ever feel comfortable in my own skin again?
Here is the photo that brought about this blog post – my “What I wore Wednesday” photo: