Honesty is definitely the best policy

This blog post is going to be shit, and it’s going to be honest.

Why is it going to be shit? Because for half of Friday and all of Saturday I was at the biggest parent blogging conference in the UK – Britmums Live. I hugged, I cried, I laughed and I learnt. I also drank lots of wine and didn’t sleep much, so with the emotional and mental pressure on my brain this blog post is likely to be shit. Please accept my apologies for that now.

Why is it going to be honest? I have always been pretty honest on this blog, but Britmums Live made me realise that I do hold back here. I do worry what people might say, might think. And so I’m not 100% me. Which was the whole point of this blog in the first place.

So from now one you’ll be seeing (reading) me, the whole me, and nothing but the me. Warts (grey hairs and wrinkles) and all.

For example, expect to see a certain amount of swearing on here. I’m pretty certain this is the first blog post where I’ve sworn. Which, if you know me you’ll know, is madness. I swear all the time. Not when I’m with the kids, but literally all the rest of the time.

I realised how bad it was when C’s second word was “pétard” (which means something like “damn” or “blast”) and is the soft version of “putain” (which literally means “whore” but is used more in the way we would say “fuck”). So the French say “pétard” instead of “putain” like we might say “sugar” instead of “shit”. I couldn’t understand where she was getting “pétard” from, until Hubs and L pointed out that I say it ALL the time when I’m around the kids. To avoid saying “putain” which I say the when I’m not with the kids.

Toddler in the park in the summer www.FranglaiseMummy.com

C in the park, repeating “pétard” over and over

I’m sorry Mum (and Dad, who doesn’t read my blog), you never swore around us and you certainly didn’t bring us up to be swearers, but I am one.

So, dear readers, if you don’t like this honest, sweary me then I invite you, in the nicest possible way, to go and read someone else’s blog.

Whilst on the subject of honesty I want to lay myself bare here, following Britmums Live, and share a bit (or maybe a lot) about myself.

I’ve always had friends. I’m a sociable kind of animal. I’m smiley and I talk A LOT. And I have always made friends easily, everywhere I go, in whatever country and in whatever language.

But I’ve rarely felt like I’ve fitted in, or been “like” these friends. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve had – and still have – some very good and very close friends from school, university, my days in Nice and my time back in the UK. But I’ve never really felt I “belonged”.

I really hope you don’t take this the wrong way, my lovely friends, as this is very much a case of “it’s not you, it’s me”.

Luckily there is one place I felt like I belonged from the very first minute. And that was in Hubs’s company. Which is possibly why we moved in together after just 3 months of knowing each other, got engaged after 6 months and married 19 months after we first set eyes on each other. I feel very fortunate to have found “la chaussure à mon pied” (“the shoe for my foot”) as the French say. (Even though he can, and does, drive me demented sometimes, as I do him.)

Wedding Day

Hubs and me on our wedding day in 2003 (19 months after we met)

I always assumed that I would feel like an outsider in all my friendships. Forever. And whilst it does upset me sometimes, I’ve come to terms with it, and it’s mostly fine.

I am quite different to many people I know. Throwing away a good job to start my own business doesn’t scare me. Moving in with a man I met 3 months previously, in a bar, sounds like a good idea. Starting a blog and spending hours of my spare time (sometimes at 6am, sometimes at 10pm, often at weekends), to the detriment of my TV viewing, is not something that makes me baulk.

And for most of my friends who’ve never set up businesses, who’ve stayed in most jobs for 5-10 years or more, who’ve waited the appropriate amount of time before moving in/marrying/having babies with their men, who’ve thought that blogging is a little bit of a crazy world, I can understand why I probably seem a bit strange, and probably a little bit mad.

But then I met some fellow bloggers. Little by little first of all. At Britmums Live last year. Then when I helped to organise the London leg of the Team Honk Sport Relief relay earlier this year.

Speakers' Corner www.FranglaiseMummy.com

Sarah from Grenglish telling off Vanessa from HPMcQ at Speakers’ Corner for our Honkopoly dry run earlier this year.

And everything fell into place. These were my people. This is where I belonged. They got me. They didn’t think I was certifiably insane. With every meet-up with my blogger friends an immense feeling of relief flowed through me.

Then I spent from 11am on Friday until 6pm last night with bloggers. I hugged the bodies of the familiar faces I see on my phone and computer screen. I laughed and laughed at stupid, little things, until my cheeks ached. And I cried. How I cried when my good friend, Sarah from Grenglish, read out her blog post about miscarriage. I cried at the other keynote speakers, who have gone through their own heartache.

And then I laughed some more at Wife, Mum, Student Bum, reading her blog post “Your child is pissed”. And then some more when “The Good Enough Mums Club” performed extracts from their musical, including “Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Boobs”.

Now, a full 24 hours after I said goodbye, physically, to these amazing bloggers, and wonderful friends, I realise that whilst I’m sad that I may not see some of them again until Britmums Live 2015, I’m happy that they’re in my life, and are in my phone and on my computer every day. That they get me. That we can have a closer friendship than I have with many of my “real life” friends. All via the power of the internet, blogging and social media.

This blog post is dedicated to all the amazing bloggers I saw, hugged or talked to at Britmums Live. And in particular to my special blogging friends, Sarah from Grenglish, Vanessa from HPMcQ, Becky from Munchies and Munchkins and Michelle from Bod for Tea. Thank you all for making me feel normal.

Blogger with baby at Britmums Live www.FranglaiseMummy.com

Becky from Munchies & Munchkins with her ADORABLE baby girl

Note: I had such a good time, that I have pretty much no photos of the event!


21 Responses

  1. Mummy Says says:

    A lovely post and glad the conference was so positive for you. I loved meeting you and also found it incredibly inspiring. It’s not always easy to be honest though – but good for you, and well done for taking that step. x
    Mummy Says recently posted…Sleeping your way to the topMy Profile

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      It was lovely to meet you too, it was such a great conference and so lovely to meet so many blogger friends 🙂 We’ll see how the honesty thing goes with time…. x

  2. Katie says:

    Ahh lovely post Sophie – so glad i got to say hi to both of you, so many people looked and sounded different to how i expected but i had you down to a tee 😉
    Glad you had such a great weekend and fab wedding photo too xx
    Katie recently posted…Piles of stuff and boxes of crapMy Profile

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      Glad to see that I am the same online as offline 🙂 So lovely to finally meet you in the flesh too x

  3. Fantastic. I felt emotional, overwhelmed, giddy and even panicky at times. It was such a huge event full of so many amazing bloggers. I am so proud to be part of this community and to feel accepted for just being myself. xxx
    Kerrie McGiveron recently posted…Do What You Like. Be Yourself. Write For Yourself.My Profile

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      It’s all about being yourself, so just remember that, and remember that most people are also feeling overwhelmed, giddy and panicky. We’re proud to have you with us 🙂 xx

  4. HPMcQ says:

    thank you for being inmy phone, in my ipad and in my lap top too. thank you for finding my unpunctuated texts, hilarious and thank you for letting me be your sat nav. and i can’t thank you enough for getting me through a very tough couple of minutes on saturday, i won’t lie that i found it hard to even breath for those moments x big love x

  5. Sweetness THIS is why I loved spending so much time with you over the last couple of days. HURRAH for honesty!!! Like you I laughed, cried, hugged and learnt and now that I’m back home I’m feeling a bit deflated. Not that I don’t adore seeing my brood but there was such an energy about those two days, a camaraderie. You were definitely a highlight for me and I REFUSE to wait until Britmums 2015 to see you again. You and the lovely Ben are clearly perfect for each other by the way (and he can certainly ROCK a tiara, which makes him doubly terrific in my book. Just saying.)
    Michelle @ Bod for tea recently posted…Silent SundayMy Profile

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      Thank you gorgeous, love, love, love this comment! Was so great to finally meet you and can’t wait to catch up with you this summer x

  6. Pauline says:

    well, it wasn’t a shitty post after all! but will there really be WARTS??

    I totally get not belonging, and the ‘honesty’ thing is one I have wrestled with also with the blog. I love your blog, and I look forward to reading more of you.
    Pauline recently posted…12 Months In the Life of LucioleMy Profile

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      Thank you lovely, I’m enjoying the being more honest I have to say. Love your blog too x

  7. Well said! I also took away the bit about being more honest – the real you. I do think that it shows through if you’re not. Who knew you were such a swearer lol! I do have to be careful now though as my kids are older and they (plus their friends) read it. I’m also a bit scared of my mum ha ha! Great to meet you very briefly in the evening – your probably don’t even remember!
    suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…The Week That Was / Project 365 week 25My Profile

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      I totally remember meeting you – it was great to meet so many people I enjoy chatting to and reading online 🙂 I can afford to be honest as my kids are too young to read my blog yet, and my parents know that I’m a terrible swearer already! xx

  8. Katy Hill says:

    Haha! I don’t have many photos either! Only ones that others took! Your wedding pic is DIVINE! And I love that french phrase – I found my shoe too and I’m grateful every morning for it! I’m with you – that sense of “belonging” is always my best part of BML xx

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      Thank you lovely, glad you like the wedding pic – it’s easier to have good wedding pics when you get married at 27 😉 I love that phrase too, glad you’ve found your shoe too! Love that belonging from BML xx

  9. I know exactly what you mean about not fitting in and then finding that place where you do! It was fab to meet you although would have LOVED to talk more, another time lovely lady, and fab post, here’s to more full force you! Do come link this up to #AllAboutYou x
    Mama and More aka Zaz recently posted…All About You Link & Pin Party – week 25My Profile

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      It was so lovely to meet you finally, but Britmums Live is terrible for trying to spend more than 2 mins talking to someone 🙁 Another time definitely! Sorry for not linking up, I’m not getting much time for linkies these days – after the summer hopefully…. x

  10. Grenglish says:

    There is nothing shitty about this post, it is perfect! I can’t imagine you not belonging anywhere, because you just seem to fit in so well. Has been lovely getting to know you this year and have so much fun together. This is just the beginning my love, we have a lot to get excited about this year and I cannot think of anyone I would rather do it with than you and HPMcQ xx
    Grenglish recently posted…Solo Parenting during the World CupMy Profile

    • Franglaise Mummy says:

      Thank you lovely, what nice things you say, it’s been fab, and there are so many fab and fun things still to come…. Love you guys xx

  1. 25/06/2014

    […] few days ago, on a post Britmums Live high, I wrote about being more honest on this blog, and about why honesty is definitely the best policy. However what I didn’t write, and what I […]

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